Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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