I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
