I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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