Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I touched a dick in church today
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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