Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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