he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
is wine microwaveable?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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