How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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