In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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