Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
