Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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