I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
