Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
