I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
