apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
