we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
