So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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