i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
