i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
