literally had 100 drinks last night.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
