Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
