you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
