I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
