I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
