she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
