Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize