A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
