There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
