BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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