So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
