Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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