I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
