Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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