Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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