and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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