i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
