I accidentally had phone sex last night
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
