drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
