i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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