K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
