Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
