it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Every concussion has its silver lining
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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