He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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