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Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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