I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
