Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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