His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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