sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
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