Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
