Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize