he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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