Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize