and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
