I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She swung at the pinata with crutches
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
