What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
