Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
