Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
