That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
