Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
