Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize