If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
