just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
